{Five Minute Friday | Collect}

Yesterday was Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. I'm a day late to the party, but I made it! If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {COLLECT}.

Ready? GO.

I came into my bedroom and found a pile of random papers, books, and pictures on the floor beside my bed. Sitting just off to the side was my ever-curious daughter playing with a few items that she chose when she rummaged through the drawer of my bedside table. She had a coin purse or pouch, a small notebook, an ink pen, and a satin ribbon. I sent her off with her treasures so I could clean up the mess. I did what anyone would do. I tried to shove it all back into the drawer. It barely fit. And, the drawer wouldn't close.

Somehow over the years, I collected all these things in the drawer that I didn't even know I had. As I sorted through it, I found some treasures. I also found lots of junk. I'm sure I started collecting things in the drawer with well-meaning intention. Eventually, I decided it was a good place to stuff cough drop wrappers and broken pencils. The good stuff buried among the not-so-good. I rarely opened the drawer far enough to see what was happening. I certainly couldn't see the good things buried in the mess. So, what was meant to be a collection of treasures turned into a collection of this and that. But, when I found those things in the drawer that I wanted, that I kept on purpose, well, you know . . .it's good for the soul to remember the sweet moments those treasures represented.

There have been seasons of my life that mirror the same thing that happened with that drawer. Days cluttered with dirty laundry, too many bills and not enough money, lost friendships, betrayal, heartache. The drawer of my heart and mind crammed full. God taught me a valuable lesson in those seasons. He showed me how to find and collect the life-giving moments in the midst of the mess. You know the kind. Those moments meant to be cherished. The ones where you find joy and hope. Contentment. Yes. And you can breathe. When you let Him show you how to do that, you learn to close the drawer in your heart and mind to the things that aren't so good and only collect and keep the things that matter. It makes a world of difference.

Scripture lays it out for us. I love how Eugene Peterson paraphrased it in The Message. 

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. "  Philippians 4: 8

Yes, do that.

STOP.

{Five Minute Friday | Five}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {FIVE}.

Ready? GO.

We've only been at it for five days. Julia was having a tiny bit of trouble with her coloring page. The picture was too big to color, and her arm was already shaky and tired, so she said. That's code for I'd rather be watching Mickey Mouse Club House. So, she looked up at me, arms crossed, brow wrinkled and said in her most serious voice, "I quit school." I explained in my best matter-of-fact mom voice that quitting isn't a choice. She's four, so I didn't get far with my explanation before she determinedly said it again. "No! I do quit!" We took a quick five-minute break, played Simon Says says, and then took our seats back at the table. She finished her coloring page. "Mommy, I love school. I don't quit. My picture is beautiful. Do you see it?"

And, there it is. My little one didn't need to quit, but she needed a rest. You know, a time-out. Sometimes, I need a rest too. How often are we just moments away from a beautiful picture when we completely bail when a little rest would have done the trick? Or how often is the Lord clearly saying "take five," and we keep pressing and striving toward something that's not what He wants for us? Yeah, me too. It's because I often feel pressed to react quickly rather than allowing space for a proper response, from a well-rested soul.

Here's the thing: In those moments when I allow myself space to breathe and rest, God whispers just what my heart needs to keep going. Five minutes is sometimes all it takes to reset my heart and mind and realign my perspective. Five minutes with my attention fixed completely on Him can change what happens next. I love that.

May I encourage you, sweet friends? If you're frazzled, weary, or just a little bit bored with what's going on in front of you -- take five minutes. Breathe in His grace for the next moment. And, then get back in there. Finish the picture, with Him at your side, of course. It's bound to be beautiful.

STOP.

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{When You Take The Step You Thought You Couldn't}

I held my breath and pressed the button. Launch campaign. What. In. The. World. 

Can I tell you something? I'm terrified. All those things I explained to you before -- the fear of rejection, the fear of being misunderstood -- are still there.  But I wasn't kidding when I told you that Jesus was working on me. You know what else? When God goes to work, so does the enemy. He tries to intimidate, distract, discourage, and isolate. He doesn't get to win. 

So, here's where I landed. Even if people think I'm selfish or, no one wants to help, that's ok. See, another thing I've been working on with Jesus is this: Do it afraid. If I believe what I say about God, then I have to. 

So, late last night, I decided to take the next step. You know, the one that seemed impossibly hard. My sweet husband said a prayer with me, and then I pressed the button. This morning, I wanted to throw-up. And, take it back. Instead, Jesus and me, we get to work on the waiting and trusting. Part of the process, I already see, is stripping away some deep-seated insecurity. My heart and my life are His, and He has this situation well in hand. 

May I encourage you today, sweet friends? He has your heart and your situation well in hand, too. Trust Him. Let Him go to work. 

If you want to help, there are two ways you can do that. Take a look here and here.  

{Five Minute Friday | Listen}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {LISTEN}.

Ready? GO.

This one should be easy, but it's not. I think our culture has a listening problem. I'm sure that's because there's a lot of noise, so many distractions. I get it. It can be hard to sort through all the competing voices and listen.

There are times, though, when I fail to listen because it requires something of me. It compels me to respond, to act, often to do something. That's when I let what I hear sink into the deepest parts of me. I want to be that kind of girl -- one who listens and is moved to respond. With my family, my friends, with God.

Jesus talked quite a bit of hearing but not listening or understanding. His brother James spoke about it also when he said, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

Yeah. Listening and doing have to go together.

I've learned there is one voice I yearn for above all others. One that guides, corrects, teaches, encourages. It keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground and my heart anchored in truth. And, that's God's voice. God's word -- it's priceless. Yeah, that's the thing I want to let sink into the deepest part of me and shape me. His voice is the one I want to compel me to move and do and be. When God speaks to me, He sees my potential, the person He created me to be. He knows how to make me the best version of myself.  Of course, I want to listen. I want to lean in and take in every single word, and then do what He says. God, help me to do that.

May I encourage you today, sweet friends? If you're having trouble hearing His voice, pause. Be still. Listen on purpose. And, tell Him you're listening. I promise He has something to say.

STOP.

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{When You Can't Take the Next Step}

Let’s do something fun! Settle down in your most comfy chair, close your eyes. Now, think about one of your favorite songs. Do you have it? Go ahead, hum a few bars! Does it stir something in you? Why is it a favorite? There’s a good chance it’s attached to a significant memory or moment in your life. When you hear it, you remember. I have an extensive list of songs like that! I am a confessed music freak, so my list may be excessive, and I have been known to burst into song randomly. My friends still love me.

But seriously.

I remember the song I played a million and one times after my first bad breakup.  I remember the song the girls and I LOVED to hear when we went, ahem, line dancing. After the Lord had started healing my broken and grieved heart, I knelt near the babies’ graves and sang. I remember that song, too.

There have been moments when I couldn’t find words and a song said just what I needed to say. And so, worship through song has long been one of my favorite things. I love to gather with other believers and worship. God birthed something in me a long time ago about worship. It’s where I’m at home. It’s my sweet spot. Our invitation to engage in worship is such a precious gift, a priceless one. I am convinced God’s presence, His Spirit, changes us as we engage. And, boy, do I ever want to lead well in this area. As a worship leader, I have the opportunity to stand in front of lots of people and point them to Jesus. It’s such a big deal to me. Huge.

A few weeks back, an incredible opportunity came my way. I mean, seriously, amazing. I was invited to participate in a worship leader training/mentoring program. Y’all. My one-to-one mentor would be Christy Nockels. I’d also be learning from other established, experienced (and incredible) worship leaders like Kim Walker-Smith and Kari Jobe in live, video-conference small group sessions. There’s an opportunity to get constructive feedback from these leaders as they watch videos of me leading. There’s roundtable discussion with other participants and the leaders. It lasts 6-months, with the opportunity to extend to a full year’s worth of mentoring/training! When I got the news, I was beside myself. Excited, yes. But, also terrified. This kind of thing is WAY outside of my comfort zone. Like, I’m talking in another galaxy. I was going to decline because it costs a few thousand dollars. But, there’s a fundraising option, they said. So, I said yes.

But now, I’m stuck. No matter how I try, I just can’t bring myself to take the next step and raise funds. I’m struggling here because there’s no doubt it’s a good thing. But, is it a God-thing? I think so.

Then, why can’t I do the next thing? Why don’t I feel ok about asking people to “fund” or “support” me? I have a feeling it’s because I’m afraid. Because I don’t like rejection. (What if NO ONE wants to give?) I am afraid to be misunderstood. (What if SOMEONE thinks I’m selfish?)  It’s all rooted in insecurity and pride. And, never mind my lack of faith!? Wouldn’t it be true that if God’s asked me to do it, He'd provide a way for me to do it? And if I say God’s prompted me to do it, doesn’t that make it a matter of obedience?

But, still.

I’m feeling a bit of a hot mess today. Have you ever been there? You know what needs to happen next, yet you just can’t. That's where I am. I want to, but I just . . . can't. Every time I start, there’s a nagging thought that mocks me. We’re sometimes hard on ourselves, aren’t we? I’m working through this process, and I’m impatient and fussy. I’m ready to bail. But that doesn’t feel quite right either. So, instead, I’m left to trust. It’s my choice, of course. Whether I’ll ease up and realize I’m not really in control of what happens here is up to me. I’m not there yet in this situation. But, we’re working on it, Jesus and me. We’re always working on it.

May I encourage you, sweet friends? It’s okay not to be okay. It’s not wise to stay there, but remember we have a Father God who is more than willing to walk us through the days when we feel like a hot mess. We can rest easy in His loving, wise arms believing that He knows what He’s doing, even when we don’t.

He loves you so.

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