{Confessions of a Strong-Willed Christian}

Sometimes, it’s hard, you know? This thing called following Jesus. You follow Him down a path you would never wander down on your own. But there you are, putting one foot in front of the other, following Him where ever because you adore Him. You believe Him. You know Him.

Notice I didn’t say that you believe in Him or know about Him. There’s a difference. I’ve been there. I believed in God more than I believed Him. I knew about God more than I knew Him. Was I a Christian? Yes. I suppose I was still at stage one. You know, one can spend a lot of years going through the motions without seeing real spiritual growth. The difference for me was that my heart was not fully engaged - it was divided. My comfort, sense of stability, and need for control were my idols. Thankfully, the Lord was patient and kind. He always is, you know. In my weakness and faithlessness, He pursued and corrected because He loves me. Here are some things He taught me.

1. I had the gift of compartmentalization. Yeah, that’s not a spiritual gift. God’s plan for us covers everything, and He would very much like an open invitation to invade every area of our lives. He wants to be the ONE THING that matters the most all of the time. But, I only invited Him into certain situations, into the big stuff. Here’s the thing: our relationship with God shouldn't be limited to Sunday morning church and Wednesday night Bible study. He wants an invitation into the tiniest of details, into our daily routines. I was trying to build my life around something other than Him and squeeze Him into the leftover space. It doesn't work. 

2. Scripture didn't always apply to me. I knew a lot of scripture, but I couldn’t seem to implement the truths in my situation. Yeah, I had the Bible in 4 or 5 different translations, loads of commentary, and could quote Scripture like a pro. But, I wasn’t allowing Scripture to go to work in my heart and mind. You read it differently when you believe it’s living and active. You read it differently when you understand it’s the breath of God on a page. I say it all the time, but it bears repeating. When you read Scripture and then live like you believe what it says, it changes everything. You have to engage your heart and mind and ask the Holy Spirit to bring understanding. Scripture had to become something that informed the way I lived. 

3. Staying busy doing ministry meant I was ok. So, I worked and worked. Eventually, I was working for Him more than I was spending time with Him. I think sometimes we get ahead of ourselves here. We forget a vital truth: God calls us to be His - to belong completely to Him heart and soul - before He calls us to do something for Him. Sometimes, we do a lot of things for Him without fully surrendering to Him. Or, we might busy ourselves doing so much for Him, that our relationship with Him gets pushed aside. It doesn’t work well. Lean in here because what I'm about to say is big. He is most concerned with the condition of our heart, with who we are on the inside, and how we relate to Him. Why? Because everything we do flows from who we are and what we believe. And ultimately, our assignment is to carry the name of Jesus to the world. To be light. To break through the brokenness and chaos with the message of hope. Yeah, that’s what He wants from us. We will never do that effectively apart from a vibrant relationship with Him. 

My ability to trust God was tied to everything but God himself. My circumstances, my ability to control the situation, my capability to work my way through whatever was in front of me. See, I was guilty of making plans and asking God to endorse those plans, rather than asking, “What do you want here, God?” I’ve learned there is power in praying not my will, but Your’s. See, I think sometimes, we try to separate God’s purpose from God’s power. What I mean to say is we try to carry out the purpose without accessing the power available to us through the Spirit. We try to impose our will, our timing. We power through. And that’s not at all what He’s asking of us. So, I started asking for His help in the form of this prayer, lifted from the pages of Scripture (Psalm 86).

Teach me Your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth. Grant me an undivided heart so I can worship You. I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all that I am. I will glorify Your name forever. For great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Here’s the thing: He was waiting for me to take my hands off. He wanted me to say, “Help me. I can’t do any of this without You.” And, then whispered, “You don’t have to.” Oh, but that's scary for a strong-willed, control-freak, kind of girl. Scary, yes. But, do it afraid. 

I promise He's right there. He's more than able and more than willing. And, He's good. 

{Five Minute Friday | Lose}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {LOSE}.

Ready? GO.

"What do we have to lose?" Before the words fully landed, I had a list of a dozen things. I didn't want to take this next step because it felt more like a crazy, insane leap into nothing. It felt like we had everything to lose.  I know what you're thinking. Thankfully, my sweet husband finds my flair for the dramatic endearing; and so, he smiles his sweet smile and nudges me along in the conversation to a point where I'm more reasonable than dramatic. But, still. Taking this step was hard. God knew. I was afraid, unsure, tired. He was asking me to say yes anyhow. He was asking me to do it afraid. He wanted to hear a yes even though I was unsure and tired. And so, I said yes.

 The Lord confirmed my yes with well-placed encouragement and perfectly-timed truths. One after the other.

Psalm 139: 5 jumped off the page during Bible study: "He hems me in before and behind - He lays His hand on me." And, then there's the verse of the day: "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" (Romans 8:31) A few days later, a Bible study workbook took me to Psalm 27. "The Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1) Just yesterday, my brother sent me a link to a sermon packed with challenging truths like this one: "Why do we limit ourselves when we have a promise from God?" And, I can't overlook the words of wisdom spoken over our lives by godly, trusted friends.  

Before I realized it, my feeble "yes" had grown into a brave and bold "YES!" It wasn't because I realized there was nothing to lose in taking this next step; and, it wasn't because I felt confident in my abilities. Not at all. it's because I made a choice to believe that being a daughter of the Creator of the universe was enough. Besides, anything I might lose along the way was His from the start if I'm living life with open hands. Here's the thing: it isn't really about winning or losing; it's about BELIEVING God.

May I encourage you today, sweet friends? If God's asking something of you, trust Him. Believe what Scripture reveals about Him. Believe that He can and will do what He says. And then, leap. Just. Go.

Stop.

{Five Minute Friday | Haven}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {HAVEN}. I am a day late to the party, but I made it. Woo!

Ready? GO.

Haven. A place of refuge and shelter where you feel protected. It's some place you return to at the end of a long, weary day or during a particularly difficult season. It's quiet, perhaps, and offers a place to rest. When one seeks cover in her haven, she leaves feeling refreshed and encouraged, comforted. There's only one place like this for me.

Psalm 91 explains it perfectly. "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him."

Yes. Just, yes.

And, though there is nothing wrong with my initial explanation, over time, I've changed my mind about something. Do you see it, there in verse one? One four-letter-word. Live. See, God isn't someone I merely return to at the end of the day or when I find myself in a pinch. He's much more than that. My place with God -- it's where I live. Where I abide, dwell, stay, exist. With Him, in Him.

May I encourage you, sweet friends? We don't have to take a step without Him. Not one. He will never leave you without cover, without refuge, without the protection of His shadow. He is faithful. In Him, we have all that we need.

Stop.

{3 Things About Love}

I've been thinking a lot about love lately. There are all kinds of things that get mistaken and misrepresented as love. Some are way off base; while others are close representations, subtle perversions, making them especially dangerous. That's a topic for another conversation, really. For now, let's just say culture has made a mess of love. What about the Christians? How are we doing? I suppose we've all had someone say they love us in one breath while their behavior tells a different story. Paul offered a precise and pointed description of love in his letter to the church in Corinth. It's a beautiful passage, really, but does anyone else find it's also remarkably hard?  

Here are just a few of the ways love behaves according to Apostle Paul:

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous, boastful, proud, or rude (or unmannerly). Love does not insist on its rights or demand its way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. It tells the truth. It never loses faith. Should I go on? For heaven's sake, he lost me at the word "patient" and "is not irritable."  Anyone else feeling like you fall incredibly short? I do. Especially when no one wants to sleep in on Monday morning after a super-long, über-exhausting weekend.

But, wait. Just about the time we want to bury our heads in the sand for fear of never measuring up, there's sweet grace. Thank goodness, we can breathe a sigh of relief. See, God doesn't expect us to measure up to His standard by our own efforts and in our strength. We simply can't. When we follow His lead, though, well, that's a different story. One of the distinguishing characteristics of a Jesus-follower is love. It's the thing that makes us different. The world should be able to identify us because of our extravagant love for God and for others. Here are a few things He's been teaching me about the tricky business of love.

1. On our own, we will never have the capability to love others well. Yeah, this one hits home for me. I know what it's like to lack compassion and genuine love for others when I'm stuck in my own pit of despair, concerned only with myself. Love doesn't do that, does it? Love is most concerned with others. Thankfully, Scripture says God is working in us giving us the power to do what pleases Him. It also says that we love because He loves. See, it's His love perfected in us and flowing through us. Once we experience the depths of His love for us and rest in that love, we can love others and love them well.

2. It's not just about the correct behavior; it's about the attitude and heart behind the action. You can say the right thing and even do the right thing without being motivated by love. For example, you can volunteer to serve in the children's ministry or on the cleaning team for your local church. No one would argue that's a good thing! However, you can't do the good thing and then complain because you have to do it! Chances are there's something besides love motivating you. It's just like when I look at my sweet, rock-star husband and say, "But, I want you to want to do the laundry." When love motivates you, you don't complain and do the good thing with resentment. Love and resentment can't exist in the same space.

3. If we believe God loves us, and we love Him, it will change the way we live. Here's the thing: Love needs to be expressed. It demands it. The most lavish expression of love known to man was carried out when God sent Jesus to die for our sins. And so, I want to do the same. I want God's love to compel me to action. I want everything I do to be a reflection of that love. Your heart will always give you away. And so, I pray that our hearts will be fixed on Him. That we love Him wholeheartedly, and that we remember how great His love is for us. It's the only way.

Be encouraged, sweet friends. He loves you so. Believe it. Know it. Then, love Him back with all you've got.

{Five Minute Friday | Grow}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {GROW}. I am a day late to the party, but I made it. Woo!

Ready? GO.

Just a few weeks ago, dandelions had overtaken our front yard. Seriously. It was bad. My husband, hoping to be thrifty, researched DIY solutions. The most promising solution: pull the weed up by the root. I'm going out on a limb here in saying whoever suggested this as a solution didn't have a hundred dandelions growing in their grass. If you're wondering, we skipped the process of uprooting them all. One pass of the lawn mower and they were gone! But, they can still grow because the root remains. So, I was thinking.

 We all grow throughout our lives. Growth means there's life, breath. Trees lose their leaves and regrow them each spring. Long after we stop growing tall, we still have the capacity for growth - we get smarter, stronger, more mature in our patterns of thinking.  Yeah, it's good to keep growing. I don't want to stop growing, but I want to grow in the right direction. There's something I can do about that, you know? See, what goes on beneath the surface hugely affects what's visible above the surface. Likewise, what goes on above the surface can either encourage or hinder healthy growth. There is verse after verse of Scripture that applies, but here are two of my favorites:

Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will be strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Colossians 2:7

Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. Ephesians 3:17

When you are rooted in Him, growth will be in the right direction. Why? That's easy. He's trustworthy. He's good. He makes it His business to grow us into something beautiful for His glory. And, He is ever so patient as He tends to my heart. For that I am grateful.

Stop.